Contact & Boundaries — free sample

One fictional example and two complete reusable sheets. About the full workbook (opens the website).

Educational writing only, not therapy, legal advice or crisis support. No qualified clinical review. If contact may be unsafe, pause and seek qualified local safety help. Keep identifying details off your notes.

These three complete pages include the optional-contact fictional example, a reusable decision sheet and a reusable revisit sheet. Sample page 1 is full-workbook page 6; sample pages 2 and 3 are full-workbook pages 10 and 13. The full workbook adds two other worked situations, application pages, draft and pre-action sheets, and a summary.

02 / An unanswered message

Fictional situation: optional contact.

Sam sent Lee a message asking whether they wanted to talk. Lee has not replied. There is no practical task to arrange and no agreed conversation. Sam wants to send a second message explaining more.

Sam cannot know why Lee has not replied. Instead of guessing, Sam records what is known: one invitation was sent; no agreement to talk has arrived. Sam chooses to keep the next draft private.

Private draft, not a message to send: “I would like a conversation, but I do not have an agreement to one. I can leave my first message unanswered. Today I will write what I wanted to say here and make no new contact.”

Why this choice: it does not make silence into consent, promise a future reply, or turn another person's attention into an obligation. A private draft can hold a wish without asking the other person to manage it.

If Lee has explicitly requested no contact, Sam respects that request. A later wish to reconnect does not override it. Optional contact and necessary responsibilities are different decisions.

My contact decision

Reusable sheet · Copy or print again.

The decision, using a brief task label: Known facts; existing agreements, boundaries or restrictions: Is this necessary logistics, optional contact, or an agreed conversation? My choice now: contact, wait, no contact, or get appropriate help: My reason; what information is still missing: What would justify a review? What would not change the boundary?

Revisit without restarting

Reusable sheet · Review facts, not a streak.

The earlier decision, briefly: What has actually changed since then? What is unchanged, including another person's stated boundary? What is mine to choose, and what requires their agreement? My updated decision and reason: Optional review point; leave blank if I do not need one: